If I were asked to name the most misunderstood virtue, I would not even hesitate. It would, hands down, be the virtue of Temperance.
When most people think of temperance they think of giving things up forever. That’s not what Temperance is about. Giving things up forever is known as abstinence and, despite a poorly named anti-alcohol movement in the early twentieth century, has nothing to do with Temperance.
Think of a sword: in order to be effective, a sword must be tempered. Why? Because by itself, the steel of the sword can be too hard, which makes it brittle. And a brittle sword will shatter when put to use. Not good, right?
In order to be useful, there must be some softening of the steel that takes place; this softening is known as tempering. Now the sword can bend a little instead of shattering. Much better, especially if your life depends on using that sword to defend yourself.
This is what Temperance is meant to be: a mixing of the correct elements in the correct proportion. When applied to daily life, Temperance means taking the various elements of ourselves and mixing them in ways that serve us instead of hinder us.
If you’re anything like I am, you have parts of your life that you love and parts that you wish were better than they are. With Temperance, we can come to see both the parts that we love and the parts that we don’t love as much can serve us.
How do we do this? My method is to make a list of both sides of my personality, like this:
| Love It | Needs Work |
|---|---|
| Sees both sides of an argument | Tends to Procrastinate |
| Intuitive | Overthinks |
So with the list filled in, I start to ask myself questions. The first set of questions I ask focus on the “Needs Work” column: do I really tend to procrastinate, or do I take the time necessary for a task? To answer this question, I need to honestly look over my past actions. In situations where I feel I might have procrastinated, what could I have done differently?
The answer might be: “I could have begun again sooner.” Now we have something to work with. It’s not the fact that I took time to do something that’s the problem, it’s the schedule on which I did it. By modifying (not nullifying) my actions, I can create a better result. That’s Temperance in action.
One pointer: as I move through the list, I do my best to suspend judgment of either the positiveness or negativeness of a quality. If I allow myself to dwell on how I perceive the quality, then I am likely to get sidetracked by an internal dialogue that is not useful in the present moment.
What I should focus on instead is: how can I take any given trait of mine and turn it into an asset instead of a liability? That’s a much more useful process, because it challenges me to see even those things that I don’t particularly like about myself as a potential ally in my success.
What should happen as the result of this process is that we come to a more balanced view of ourselves and see how we can minimize guilt and maximize success.
And that is what Temperance is all about: moderation in a healthy way.
